Emotions

WHAT? Am I dreaming or is there really a Dr telling me right now that my perfect child has a brain condition, might need surgery and he didn't know what he future looked like?

My husband and could not believe this was really happening. Somehow we had convinced ourselves that Emmie was just behind from the low muscle tone and walking late. The Dr could not tell us what kind of life Emmie would now have. Would she eventually catch up to the other kids? Could she function at a normal school? Would she live with us forever? These are all questions we asked.....these are all questions he also did not have answers for.

We went into a state of shock at first I think. Very depressed....it was almost like we were mourning the future we felt our daughter was just robbed of.  All the dreams we had for her...will she ever be able to achieve them?

I thought it might be my fault..looking online it said that if its not a genetic malformation that it might be something that happened while I was pregnant. I was the most careful pregnant womanever...I DIDNT EVEN DRINK CAFFINE! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Could it have been the few prenatal vitamins I skipped?

I know...crazy...but these are things that go through your head.

I was overwhelmed by the emails everyone was sending. Almost trying to fix it or send me in different directions with tips and links to different websites. I was OVERWHELMED. I had to stop answering my emails and I couldnt tell one more person about it over the phone. Everytime I would retell it I would relive it again.

We had a family trip planned for Thanksgiving right after we got the results and we wanted to go. It was amazing a to have family around at a time like this, but I think we were both hoping that no one would talk about it and that we could forget even if it was just for a minute.

All I could relive in my head over and over again was "well....the results aren't good"